Over four years has passed since the last time I posted something to my blog…I don't know if people still call these things “blogs”, but here I am, four years older and wiser (wiser might be debatable), and feeling human enough to want to connect with you here again. I'm going to celebrate that. It's been some time since I've felt up for this. The past couple of years have been heavy with failure, shame, shattered confidence, darkness, sorrow, then a bit of joy, a bit of light, a bit less shattered, a bit less shame, and a few successes. So I guess I'm saying that the more "HopeFull" me is starting to feel within reach again after it felt like a distant memory for some time. That's cause for celebration, right?

I won't take you through the throes, but simply say that it feels good to be thinking about this storytelling singer-songwriter Preetam again. The writing is calling, and I'm hoping to answer that call sometime this fall/winter. I can't remember if I wrote about this before, but I think like many others, fall always feels like a real time of change and renewal. I love the fall. I wrote to a friend the other day that there's really nothing like the crunch of leaves under one's feet, which is such a distinctly fall thing. Fall also brings Thanksgiving, which offers a time for reflection, and the opportunity to assess where things are, where we'd like things to be, and how we might get there. This year, I'm happy to try to take lessons from the couple of years that have been, and give myself a chance to dream a little again.

Speaking of Dream A Little, that team of dedicated regular or occasional blood donors that we started a few years ago still exists, and I'm still happy for any of you to join us as we strive for 52 annual donations. The goal is just a number. The donations are what matters, so if it's in you to give, whether you join the team or not, please visit Canadian Blood Services and set up an appointment. I just said to one of my dearest friends that giving even one time is a chance to help someone, and that's why we do this. And if you want to go but need a buddy to join you, just call, and if I can get there, I will. It's partially with that in mind that I've titled this post as I have. I'm writing this having just made my 50th blood donation.

Before we lost our dear friend David ten years ago, he had encouraged his family, friends, baseball teammates/league-mates, etc. to give blood, and I remember one of the first times that I went to donate after that, someone was there making their 100th donation, and they had a cake there for everyone who came that day to enjoy a piece. I immediately thought of how much I'd love to reach 100 donations and surprise strangers at the blood donor clinic with cake. I'm halfway there now, and if I remain in good health and able to give, I might reach that 100 sometime in 2034. A lot will surely change between now and then, so I'm going to celebrate 50, and am currently thinking about maybe getting myself a cake today. If you want to celebrate with me, maybe you can get yourself a cake too!

What makes this 50th donation extra special is that it's in honour of (and on the eve of) my sister's 50th birthday! I wanted to do it the day-of, but I am off to Ottawa for this year's Folk Music Ontario conference tomorrow, and wouldn't have been able to donate and catch the train on the same day. So it's the day before, but I scheduled it for 4:10pm, or 16:10 if you (like I) use the 24-hour clock, so I've kind of got October 16 covered that way. Many of you reading this may be fortunate enough to know my sister, and know how much she means to me. Some of us are lucky enough to meet our heroes. I hit the jackpot being born as mine's little brother. I've had a lifetime of friendship, protection, advice, lessons, role modelling, and love. Growing up was pretty straightforward for me with her paving the way, and these days, while she continues to do all of those things for me, I get to watch her further excel in family life in her own house as a fantastic partner to my fantastic brother-in-law (also 50 this year! Woohoo!) and just the most incredible mom to my niece (many years away from 50), nurturing her to grow into the wonderful person she is. I'm also not at all surprised when I hear my sister's stories from work over the years, as she continues to demonstrate that same kind of care and compassion as a leader in her professional life.

For the past 50 years, my sister has brought the world a little more sunshine, a little more dancing, an undeniable radiance, and an unforgettable laugh. Whether you know her or not, let's celebrate one of the best together. Happy, happy 50th.